(Mar. 10, 2024 ● Oslin Pierrette)
I don’t think I have this fully comprehended, I don’t fully yet see that through line premise that ties this all together. There were just so many moving elements and variables. But it does feel like a stuck in the cycle of abandoning the Garden of Eden type of movie…
I just read this part of the script because I couldn’t legibly hear what he was saying when she asked who is he. But in the stage directions, it says “He notices her for the first time”, and this was the ending. Which gives a more clear understanding. Especially in the ending and the beginning, when mother wakes up, he is nowhere to be found. Which was his temperament to her this whole movie. Please hear me, please stay with me, please care for me, please love me, please just stop making me feel so confused and crazy. Please just listen. And you felt this strong rejection and disregard of her wishes. She had no voice, no respect went her way. She’s just another person, a part of his story, but also one of the main inspirations he siphons from.
They have this symbiotic relationship, where he takes, and takes, and takes, while all she does is give, give, and give. The life of a Mother basically. She gives until there’s nothing else to take anymore, until her last ounce of love left, giving beyond what she can give, a Mother. With all that she gives, what does she receive in return? The absolute disrespect of everyone she gave for, especially the dissatisfying feeling that with everything that she gave, which was her all, it wasn’t enough, nothing was ever enough. With all that I give, you give me your ass to kiss, you give me shit and filth, while still demanding more, feel entitled to it, what is this insanity. What else do you want from me? I just feel absolutely used, disregarded, and abused, the life of many mothers. All I wish for is love, care, and appreciation, is that so much to ask for? But for others, since the beginning of when I knew you, I knew you as this nurturing mother. This is what I always knew you for. When I goto the kitchen, food was there. When I get out of the shower, my clothes are ready, and so is my bed for me to sleep. I walk around and everything is put together and clean. Everything is magically tended to, that’s all that I see and experience, a mother’s magic, she keeps all this together. I don’t know how to appreciate this, it’s just what has always been done, that’s her role in my life, my caretaker. But what isn’t seen is the behind the scene grueling work the mother does, that makes what’s magic to me happen. All that I have taken time and time again, without even attempting some form of reciprocation in appreciation and care, but even in the absolute absence of that, the love of my mother still comes my way, she still gives. The life of a mother, a very voiceless, powerless, and thankless world. Full of dread and all the resentment and spite that may stem from that, is silenced through whatever painkillers available. Then why mother, why do you still give to those that deteriorate & degrade you? And many mothers will reply, because it’s in my nature & purpose to give & care.
Look at mother nature. Look at this beautiful nature she has gifted to us, full of vibrant fruitfulness. And a fruitful platform where we can build our own prosperity. Mother Nature did this for us all. And this may be that Garden of Eden aspect. Look at the nature and the beauty within it, gifted to us by mother, a possibility of prosperity in paradise, and look how far we strayed away from that. Looking and seeking external means. You left mother’s home, abandoned her principles, disregarded her love, her beauty, and everything that she gave to you, none of it was enough, and even in your departure I still cared for you. But you’re starting to tear me apart. You’re breaking my heart and love, diminishing my essence, weakening the life force. Destroying my everlastingness to live for you, how insane that is, you are defeating everlasting love when it could’ve been everlasting, but you wanted more. While destroying my home, tearing it to pieces, stripping me of the seeds that make the world everlasting fruitful, dimming the light and sabotaging the source. You have made an everlasting vibrantly fruitful world, and turned it into a world of scarcity for the few to reap and the masses to suffer in absolute violent despair. You turned beauty into ugly rubble. How’d you manage to destroy all this beauty? Then worst of all, I give my son, and you killed my son, sacrificed him for nothing under what you believe in your insane warped mind that it was for the betterment of us all and will fix everything, when everything was fixed, you turned it to shit, you insane little boy.
One of the most insane parts is when mother looked to the doorway to leave. And he made sure mother stayed. You see it right there, you have the absolute need for me, you’re nothing without me, without Mother Nature.
But even in that, this beautiful gift, you don’t even think to appreciate what I am for you. Appreciate that I’m here for you, something that YOU absolutely need.
I see now, what I loved was something that couldn’t receive it. I loved a dark abyss, it’s impossible to please something that will never be pleased, a greedy little boy. Reason why you left this beautiful home, you don’t have the mechanism to appreciate the fruitful beauty. It’s the reason why you take, take, and take, because that’s all your nature is, you take and never give or appreciate. That’s why you can’t write, you have nothing to give, you just took my story, and I willingly gave it to you, because I love you. And I was the insane mother who constantly believed in something that was always inevitably going to be this, always was. You just took advantage of my Mother Nature. But now I have nothing left to give. You all had the chance to make something beautiful, together we all symbiotically could’ve had paradise, but you chose greed. You chose to believe this evil nefarious entity. You chose to believe in that fraudulent facade of light, and abandoned my truly beautiful light, that was initially provided for most of you. But you all strayed away to seek his fraudulent facade, where he takes from you as well, with nothing to give, and now look where we are. I’m done, let this world perish, none of you deserve my love. Let it all go to ashes, I’ve lost all hope, I don’t want the stress, I give up on you all, let me gain my quiet, my rest. Mother nature has been defeated, and even in my lost, my ashes, you still take the ounce of life and love that I have. You never loved me, you just loved how I loved you.
Wow, maybe I did understand this. Great movie.