(Feb. 24, 2023 ● Oslin Pierrette)
One thing that I have been very jaded about, is my lack of opportunity in the industry. I hear it all the time “It’s not what you know, but who you know.” Like you’ll hear sentiments about your network being your greatest asset, networking is the currency. I’ve been personally told by someone in the industry in reference to me saying the work and product should outweigh networking and relationships: he said unfortunately it’s simply not true. “It is about who you know…it’s good to spend more time building relationships than it is trying to improve your skill.” This was a very heart wrenching reality for me to accept. I worked constantly, tirelessly, and insanely on developing my craft, also creating my products and works. To put all that work in to just be told, I get your work may be good or great, but you still need those relationships. Then to see the juxtaposition, the people with relationships having a lack of work ethic, skill, and craftsmanship, just a lack of care & passion for the art, to see that made me absolutely jaded. What I thought would bring me progress and success was the antithesis of what was getting the progress & success.
How do I view that? I still view that currently as a system with high levels of incompetence within it. But what does that do for me? I can’t just dwell and be too fixated about my gripes on how the system is, and just hoping for things to change. I also don’t have the greatest probability of just banking on my quality of work and just feeling entitled in knowing I’m definitely good enough, and then waiting to be rewarded for it. I’ve understood before how the system typically navigated, but now I also view it as an obstacle I have to get over and conquer. I also have to assess my faults and weaknesses. I have crippling performance anxiety a lot of the time. That’s why I’m so insane about my craft. I work insanely and tirelessly, I work like a madman, mainly because I love to work on passions, but also in hopes to bypass my poor networking skill. I thought maybe I can skip that process, if I already show up with quality work. The terrible reality I had to face was I thought if others can bypass their lack of skill & talent with great networking, maybe I can bypass poor networking with great skill and work. But then you have to realize, if the others, meaning the people with lack of skill & talent, but great networking skills, if they are a lot of the ones obtaining positions, there’s a good chance that they are sitting in those important positions that I would have to go through. Of course there’s a lot of people with work ethic and quality of work I respect in the industry, it wouldn’t be a viable industry without them.
But I have encountered others who have prestige within the industry, and when I attempted to present my work to them, I could see there was a lack of expertise, where they didn’t hold the intangibles to even grasp my work and detail. There was just a clear disconnect. Maybe it was me, but then I checked their work and platforms, and it was clear to see, this is someone who doesn’t represent the culture and field they are a part of. They clearly didn’t possess the expertise to critique my work. I put a lot of time, effort, expertise, and detail into my work, very deeply researched.
For all of it to fall flat through their perception, and all my detail and expertise go right over their head. It’s frustrating running into these gatekeeping walls enforced by incompetence. “The danger of incompetence is that it often looks like expertise.“
Then when I think about it, people who get by those gatekeeping wall officers, are people who they connect with, people who may remind them of themselves. Many of these people obviously don’t connect with the fundamentals of work and craft, but they do see themselves in people with better networking skills. I’ve seen multiple occurrences, I’m a people watcher. When I used to work behind the bar at Ruth Chris, where I didn’t excel, my cousin worked there, and my family forced me to work there. But while I stayed in my corner, I watched how other people communicated.
I saw it a lot, The Performative Art of BS. Like the bartenders and waiters told me, make them feel like you care, make them feel important, fundamental service worker skills. You see it constantly, the customer buying a load of bullcrap, but they are so fully engaged and disarmed. The waiters and bartenders were really good at disarming and infiltrating the customers’ guard and milking them for what they needed out of them. And what I assessed from that, is that I knew I wouldn’t be good at obtaining that skill. I’ve worked so hard on being a vulnerably honest person, it would be abrasive to my being and body to build a fraudulent character of transactionality. I morally just can’t do it, but I do understand this is probably how a lot of networking operates. I can’t just dwell on my incapabilities. I have to find a solution for progress.
I know it’s a controversial one, but I believe ChatGPT is a great tool. Like I come from Hip-Hop and Rap, where if you are a rapper, you should be writing your own lyrics, that level of integrity is important to me. So if you’re a writer, you should be writing your own papers and articles, that level of integrity is important to me. Don’t let ChatGPT compromise your artistic integrity. But I also can’t deny that, though ChatGPT does look worrisome in some aspects, instead of denying it, I should utilize the powerful tools it possesses. Best mindsets for growth are people who acknowledge they need growth, they acknowledge their faults. Some of the most knowledgeable people are people who acknowledge they really know nothing at all. And ChatGPT is a great resource for you to build on that. I know I lack professionalism in communications. I’m not great at emails, I’m not great at messaging someone in hopes to connect with someone of interest, and trying to arrange meetings with them. So why not get valuable advice when available, why not ask how to do that? Now through ChatGPT, I have a great preset on how to start initiating and talking to people. I’m building my mindset on how to approach people. Now having a concrete game plan, I feel more comfortable with my approach, instead of being nervous with my pie in the sky unplanned ideas. I’m not saying you have to be robotic in the approach, but this is a great preset and template to know how to comfortably approach and initiate people. With this preset I can cater it to who I want to speak to. And I can insert my human aspects in the approach so it doesn’t feel like a regurgitated robotic message. I’m building that side of my character up, that side that many of us introverts lack. Where I can get to a place where I can start to assert myself, and start communicating my work & ideas with important connections. I can start to build that bridge from my own introverted bubble and connect it to the world where I’m comfortably connecting with people, and building on my progress.
Also I believe I can still network while being myself. I understand I am not good at building a fraudulent character to perform in. But I know I’m good at being vulnerable at any moment. If I just acknowledge the situation, and be upfront about my nervousness and anxiety. It brings this understanding to the situation, that if others accept, makes the situation comfortable. I created a space for myself to be comfortable to operate in. Now I can breathe and communicate whatever I need to communicate. I believe this is an amazing solution to the issue. I’ve used it on multiple occasions and have gotten some great results.
Another great tool is to communicate with the people you respect. Seek the people that you see expresses at a level of expertise, taste, and skill you respect. I believe when you encounter these people, they have the ability to understand you better. They have the intangibles to grasp your level of expression. They can understand and see the detail, taste, skill, effort, and expertise you put into your work. Where all those aspects don’t go to waste in the viewer’s perception when they can’t grasp the art. They can connect with you, you share passions and loves. Where it transcends just networking. Which can bring you into a space to build a genuine relationship outside of the transaction you need. A bond that can be very fruitful and gratifying.
Also with building meaningful relationships. You’re building a great rapport with people. You never know, someone who has great respect for you, who admires you, may just feel the urge to say your name in important rooms they’re in, even when you’re not around. Also if you have interests in someone in their network, you can get a great recommendation if you want them to vouch and connect you to them. Creating a strong referral of someone you may want to meet, creating a great impression, for you to seamlessly initiate someone new.
If I really think about it, I don’t really have crippling performance anxiety. I’m just not great at performing a character that might be needed in these performative spaces. Of course I’m a nervous and shy person, but if me and someone have similar interests and passions, we can find our way to our shared understanding to connect and smoothly communicate afterwards. I have found success in those aspects. I just have to make a concerted effort in finding people that I would respect, and do my best to build those relationships that I believe could be actual relationships outside of me needing them for what they can do for me. I just don’t excel in communicating with people for my own transactional needs. I’m not good at that, humans mean more than just an object of my progression. Yeah, of course I have to work on my own weaknesses of shyness and nerves when initiating people, but a lot of the problem also resided in the metastasis of these incompetent systems. The growth in the levels of incompetence within these systems. But I have to assess the situation and the obstacle, and assert my way around it. Then when I can get around that, I would want to work towards removing the obstacles for others, that’s one of the goals. To create a more fruitful system. Away from this putridly metastasized system of incompetence.
This is just a hypothesis, but one that I truly believe is the answer. This is the way I’m going to be maneuvering. Doing my best to get comfortable and used to this process. I do believe I will conquer my issue of networking and communicating, due to shyness. Then when my world of creativity bridges with the world of networking I want to create for myself, I believe it will create a flourishing world for myself.