(Nov. 5, 2024 ● Oslin Pierrette)
Before Sunrise (1995) –
First off I do have to say I love this movie. So highly watchable. You’re just living in that world while you’re watching. Reason I have to continue and watch Before Sunset tomorrow probably.
The high serotonin, high chemistry romance. It’s a beautiful sight to see this spontaneous improvisational fling. But that’s what it should’ve stayed, a fling. Having already watched the trilogy, Before Midnight is easily my favorite and the one I connect with the most. It’s so interesting to come back and watch this. You realize you start off where you end off. Jesse selling Celine these young and child-like romanticized dreams. And that’s not a good thing when they’re older. It’s cute when they were younger, but 20 years later to still not go beyond trying to create this romantic fling dreamscape is quite depressing.
Yes there’s some romantic chemistry. But these are just such different people. Their cores just aren’t the most compatible. They don’t really agree with their core beliefs. She’s a believer in things, in life, in beauty. And he’s a cynic, he tries to disprove belief, life, and the beauty in nature. Like you see Celine trying to express the beautiful moments she has in life, and he’s constantly invalidating the truth of that beauty. Their cores are bringing them to completely different directions, but the magnetism of this romantic fling is what makes them blind to the fault of whatever long term bond they think they can have. And that’s how strong these feelings are, it just makes you feel like this is forever, this is meant to be, you are my soulmate. And they can’t see outside the trance to see that they were never really that compatible. The result of Before Midnight was always going to happen. It’s one day, one night, a romantic fling is enough to ignite the single night. But when the hot flames from the romance starts to die down, what is the actual connection that will bond them together. There are no shared values, goals, and visions. Just young naive puppy love, thinking that can last them a lifetime.
That’s why I liked the idea when they announced, this is our last night, let’s make it count. We are not trying to live a life together. We’re just trying to live out this bliss of a night. Appreciate the hot and electric bliss for whatever it is, and move on with our life. But I completely understand going back on that word. This burning passion ignites me too much for this to be our last time. Like I completely understand that. Even I went down roads of romance that I knew didn’t make sense, the bliss and this temporary passion is such a beautiful feeling, even with this obviously non-compatible partner that won’t last. But making a life out of that, will lead you to resentments of commitments you should’ve never made. But these strong feelings of what feels like meant to be love, can take us down paths that aren’t the best for us, but feel so right.
Before Sunset (2004) –
The two star-crossed lovers cross paths again. Even in their struggles with love ever since their last encounter, the romantic fling still has a fiery strong passion. The romantic chemistry is still there, the connection is still potent. And they feel less distant in their cores than before. But I still see these are two different people. Two cores going their separate ways, maybe why fate & chance didn’t bring them together again. Even when they were in the same cities for years. Stars didn’t align for them to cross paths, they’re two different people that were maybe always going to end up in two different places. If their cores were more compatible, maybe there would’ve been a night where they would’ve crossed paths, because of shared views & interests.
It was more Celine intentionally making it happen to encounter each other again. And when they did, you see that they’re still two different people. They even perceived that night differently. Two people can look in the same direction, and see completely different things. Like how some will watch this film and say these two are the perfect couple, the perfect romance. But they can’t see outside the beautiful trance of the passionate romance of a fling, they don’t understand that this encounter alone doesn’t create a forever love. And when the flames go out, they can’t see that simply these are two different people, that maybe not perfect for each other. Just listen to their constant contradictory points. I get this seems perfect, but this is a love story based on less than 36 hours. You don’t ever need to have any true self reflections, to see who you are, and who is me. To see if what we are is actually meant to be. You don’t have to check for compatibility basically. You don’t have to encounter the obstacles of a long term relationship. You can honestly just ride that short lived bliss into the sunset.
But I also understand. You don’t get to have encounters like this so often. Just look at that beautifully overwhelming fiery passion. Anybody would question, this has to mean something grandly meaningful. And follow this strong connection wherever it takes them, I agree with that. The last time I had hopes of true optimistic love, was the last time I was with you. You are the most beautiful human I’ve ever experienced. It was one night, but I love you, and I never forgot you, can’t stop thinking about you, can’t let you go. I always wanted it to be you. Doesn’t matter who I’m with, I always wanted it to be you. So I’m not passing this up, I’m not doing that stupid let’s meet again BS. I’m not taking you in my presence for granted. It’s you, I know it’s you. I love you, and I’m staying.
And thinking about that, I completely get it honestly. However it ended up, is a different thing. But the choice to be together, and actually stay this time makes complete sense, the right decision. I know how it ends up…but honestly that’s my belief anyways. Yes, accept this high level of romantic passion. But that’s not enough to foundation a long term relationship on. You need to be continually growing and connecting, creating new awes of each other. Not looking back on those nights where we fell in love, but seeking falling in love over and over again in the course of life.
I love this trilogy a lot. It’s just so watchable. You just love living in that world.
Before Midnight (2013) –
I just love this film, always have. Definitely my favorite from the trilogy. Mainly because of the course they took with it. They just didn’t give it this fairytale ending that diehard Before trilogy fans would’ve loved for their own fantasy and comfort. But it told an honest & beautiful depiction, that honored the laws of human nature & connection. If you weren’t drunk on romanticization from the first two films, you would’ve had a great chance to foresee this coming.
The fairytale romantic couple everyone fell in love with. Jesse & Celine. What people fail to realize, this is a long term commitment based off of romantic fling lasting less than 36 hours. As beautiful as it seemed, that’s not a strong enough foundation to build a viable long term relationship on. What I remembered from the first two films, yes, they had amazing romantic chemistry, but they didn’t completely mesh at their cores. There were a lot of disagreements, and just core differences. It didn’t matter because at the time, they’re just meeting each other. But now it matters so much. You see how it has manifested. All these differences have added up. These are just two different people, who love to drift their own way, but the baggage of their lives together have them bonded here. And it seems as if they are bonded by chains, not choices & life circumstances have them here together. All these passive aggressive remarks, that seemed packed with so much resentments & spite. It’s like they blame each other for their current deteriorating existence. There’s still chemistry that makes this a workable relationship, but they truly just don’t like it here, in this situation. They seem like they have lost the ability to even yearn for something more, just accepted their lives of desolation and despair, full of resentments. I have this saying or excerpt from my last book:
A fling or lasting relationship of any type of connection. A fling is like more of a surfaceble fun little moment. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s a moment. A lasting relationship when healthy, is usually more intimate. The two or more people are interconnecting with each other, shared vulnerability. The problem with a long lasting fling drawn out. Is when two surface objects keep rubbing against each other. More and more friction starts to build up, and it will explode at some point.
I say that to say, these two haven’t done the self work, the human developmental work to be in a viable long lasting relationship with each other. The romantic chemistry is beautiful. It can be deceiving in the sense that, it seems like this is the person I’m supposed to be with, my soulmate, and that can be true. Just not the whole story. Yes, passionate romantic chemistry can light up a beautiful feeling deep in you. But you need that intimacy & vulnerability. You need the ability to share yourselves. Be able to take the inner content of who you are, and the issues you have, and be able to put it all on the table. To where you both can come together and work through your intimate feelings and vulnerabilities, getting to truly meaningful answers of whatever you are seeking or looking for. You most likely can’t have a viable relationship without it. You saw that with Jesse & Celine, a lot of issues were getting swept under the rug, as if everything was ok. But when these issues come up, you see that none of it was ok, this was a deep point of issue. What happens is, we have issues, and we’re not expressing those issues. We’re creating a distance that we aren’t mending. One problem isn’t the end of the world. But over a long period of time, these tick tacky or even substantial issues do build up overtime. To the point, you just feel this distance from each other, and it’s like how did we get here. And there isn’t one problem to solve, that can mend these multi-year issues we’ve been having with each other. Maybe sometimes where you get to points of no return. We have severed our relationship and I don’t think we can connect back. One main reason is because we have severed the relationship with our own selves. We have gotten lost in this life, in this world. I don’t know what any of this really means to me, I’m so confused by this all, and I feel truly lost. Being lost in your youth is ok, because many are still eager to seek direction, but when you’re on the other side of the road, it gets existentially scary, like this is what my life is, all it’s going to be. There is an existential disappointment and lostness that happens with that. You just have this disconnect with life. There’s this empty meaninglessness that may grow inside you. And there’s not really anything left to salvage of you that would have anybody attracted or connected to you. These two just don’t have the attributes for long term relationships. And now they are starting to see the reality of it.
Again they are just two different people that would love to go their separate ways. But they are trapped in the circumstance of family. I mean, I strongly get that from Celine, she would love the opportunity to stimulate her own life, she is not bogged down by this idea of marriage. Jesse seems like he would love to force-fit Celine into his world, his fantasy. It seems he still has attachments to this romanticized version of Celine, and is disappointed that she won’t play her role correctly as he envisions her to be. Basically he is not respecting or valuing the individual she is, and actually invalidating a lot of who she is, because it’s just too crazy, since it won’t fit into his dreamworld. Please Celine, destroy yourself, and just live for me the way I want you to be. Let’s finish this fairytale life we should have. Be the person that I want you to be, even if it goes against who you truly want to be.
Like yeah, Jesse has a legit issue with his ex-wife, over their son together, and that’s honestly understandable. Celine understands that, but she doesn’t want to kill herself, destroy herself, to fulfill the perfect situation for Jesse. Celine doesn’t want to be the perfect housewife, play the perfect role to please Jesse. She, as her own human, wants what she wants out of life, which is simply a different path than Jesse’s.
They go through these cycles of intense arguments, where you see there’s really nothing to be solved, it’s just expressions of internal resentments towards each other. There’s nothing to be mended. One issue after another, from all angles. It just gets to the point that Celine just says it, I don’t love you anymore. The disillusionment from this romantic fling gone too long. Truly hurting Jesse, he goes after her to try to mend the situation. And you see he just doesn’t have the ability. He doesn’t see Celine’s pain for what it is, more as a whiny baby who’s crying about spilled milk in life. And just forcing on her, telling her this is what love is, it isn’t perfect yeah, but this is what it is, speaking to her as if she’s ungrateful. Did you come outside to actually mend things with her, or just fight and express your anger to her. You saw the heartbrokenness on Celine’s face, not heartbroken over Jesse really, but what her life is. Then she wipes off those tears of mourning. And she just compromises, and sacrifices. Destroy that idea and dream of self, and just play the role that Jesse wants her to be. The naive sexy french girl of his romanticizations, damsel in distress type, how pitiful. This is how the romantic fling of Jesse & Celine end up. Kill herself to make his dreams come true, to live despairingly ever after.
I love this film, it is just so amazing. These are my types of films, great comfort watches as well. Heavy beautiful dialogue that is also poetic. The color and scenery was absolutely amazing. All the elements were just so great.